Desert Survival Tips

To survive in the desert, you’re going to need a few special tools, unless you prefer being the butt of “and then he died in the desert” jokes. Firstly, avoid exhaustion by staying out of direct sunlight. Do this by jogging until you see a vulture overhead, and then keep running to stay under its shadow. Once the sun has set, you’ll need to find shelter. If no caves or rattlesnake pits are available, build a simple lean-to out of airplane wreckage (there’ll be some). Be sure to sleep facing up, with your mouth open, as scorpions are dumb and full of protein. The next day, stop fooling around and get back to work. You’re a sand miner for God’s sake. Act like one.