300-Foot Cuban Cigar (Cuba)

While every friend group has one person who’s known as “the best” at it, Jose Castelar Cairo is an actual professional master cigar roller. In the early 2000s, he started making particularly useless versions of his own craft. He made a cigar that was 36 feet long, nicknamed “hey, you can’t smoke that in here”, which was more of a joke about low ceilings than smoke-free areas. In 2016, Cairo rolled a 295-foot cigar, which he named “Fidel Castro”. The mind’s eye might conjure up a barrel-wide, football field-length tobacco product, but this would be incorrect. It’s the same thickness as a regular cigar. The photo included in the source material only gives the impression that someone in Cuba has a poorly trained and disastrously unwell cat. All the same, they keep it behind glass at Morro Castle. The following year, a man in Pomona, California, rolled a 332-foot cigar, which was later cut into more manageable sections for smoking. This sort of one-upmanship in the symbolic territory of very large cigars raises an important question: just how hot are their moms?