Guelta d’Archei (Chad)

In looking up Guelta d’Archei Lake in Chad, I saw that it’s a pinpoint in the middle of the impossibly large Sahara Desert of Northern Africa. To get an idea of what I was looking at, I zoomed out. For a while, I thought my mouse was broken, because I clicked the “zoom out” button about 40 times, and my screen was an unflinching, unchanging rectangle of tan nothingness. I eventually saw names for desolate landmarks come and go. Then I saw national borders change a few times. I began to panic. It felt like it had been days, weeks maybe. I began rationing my coffee in small sips. I tied a t-shirt around my head. I swore I saw civilizations appear on the border of my screen, but they were just illusions. A turkey vulture drew lazy circles over my head, which was impressive, because this is not a big room. I knew I was in trouble, mostly because I did not put a pet deposit down as part of my lease. My journey ended when I saw the Red Sea. It just so happened, the moment I got there, the toaster dinged (dung?). My Pop-Tarts were done, and so was my ordeal.

Look, this place is an oasis filled with camel shit and crocodiles in the middle of an upsettingly large desert. Whatever you choose to do with this information, it can’t be as bad as what God did to the only freshwater in a half of a continent.